Buy Or Don’t Buy

Heath Ledger isn’t the only joker making headlines this month.

John McCain, that “maverick” of the Republican Party and GOP presidential nominee, has quite the hearty sense of humor himself, especially when it comes to dead Iranians.

Earlier this year, McCain’s high-larious interpretation of the Beach Boys’ “Barbra Ann” (“Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran,” for those of you who dwell beneath rocks) raised some eyebrows. His response was to tell anyone who “doesn’t understand” that veterans joke with other veterans to “get a life.”

Well, okay. A sixth-grade-girl insult might not have been my response, but I can see how a little impromptu karaoke session could get blown out of proportion. My rendition of “Choke A Ho,” a re-imagining of the classic “Kokomo”, didn’t go over too well at the bars either.

But evidently McCain isn’t done testing out his routine for the post-election comedy circuit. Earlier this week, upon learning that one of the U.S.’s largest exports to Iran is cigarettes, he joked, “Maybe that’s a way of killing them.”

Everyone’s entitled to an inappropriate joke now and then. Personally I feel entitled to an inappropriate joke about every fifteen minutes. But the difference is that John McCain is a Senator with the goal of representing the United States across the globe…and I am a college student with the goal of getting drunk for free every weekend.

John McCain is basically the crazy old uncle who makes jokes about the “darkies” in front of your new boyfriend at Thanksgiving dinner. How would you feel if that uncle were considered the face of your family? Embarrassed. Ashamed. Pissed off that your little sister voted for herself as Face of the Family instead of you, thereby making you lose by ONE POINT, the stupid selfish bitch.

Like it or not, politicians don’t have the same freedom of expression that the rest of us do. They are, and should be, held to a different standard than the average citizen. Our leader should be the best and brightest that our country has to offer, and guess what? That means not making light of deaths, particularly deaths that he has the power to catalyze. If you thought the reaction to the Danish Mohammed cartoons was bad, just wait until President McCain inadvertently makes a “yo mama” joke involving burqas during the State of the Union.

Plus, joking about innocent dead people? Not actually funny.

So there you have it. I just don’t buy a callous, careless wannabe-funnyman as the next President of the United States.