Buy Or Don’t Buy

I will never, ever own a Scion. I know nothing about cars; I do know that Scions are clunky and probably vegan. But I might be found behind one of these mild wheelers, playing Guitar Hero through the trunk and wearing a Scion screen printed tee.

Scion has been working extra hard with its guerilla marketing, pulling up to every music event and popping the trunk to display free goodies inside. I had a dream that I was dancing to synth music in a warehouse with two free Colt 45’s in hand, watching costumed monsters jump on people. And Scion handed it to me on a platter. With the garnish of free t-shirts if I signed up for a newsletter.

The Toyota car also has this weird culture tab on their website, with band interviews, free mp3s, and event listings of free parties and art shows. I hope some of these targeted middle class youths buy a car! Maybe even one living in New York City?

Adult Swim’s Frisky Dingo reported a talk show crowd getting more excited about a Scion TC ad than Killface’s unveiling of his plans to blast away the whole world.

Yeahh!

You’re all doomed.

Sorry, Killface, but we loves our free stuff! As Don Draper says, people want to be told what to do. Ads are not promoting a lie against a good backdrop—the universe is way more indifferent than that. Scion…sounds like Zion. Can’t wait for that! Subscribe me!