Buy Or Don’t Buy

Once upon a time, Post Secret felt like a neat discovery that you’d made on your own. Sure, the secrets were out on the Internet – but they were still wrapped up in a sense of hush-hush. Post Secret wasn’t really fodder for discussion among friends; the site was, in itself, a little secret.

But then it became a book. And the creator started making speeches. And then it became another book.

So, okay, Post Secret blew up, and like every single indie band that’s ever accumulated more than 500 fans, it lost some of its appeal.

An indie band that still has less than 500 fans.

But more importantly, the postcards themselves lost their appeal. For one thing, a lot of them don’t really qualify as “secrets,” per se. Take this example from the current collection: “I constantly choke on job interviews.”

Uh…alright? Not only is that completely uninteresting, but it’s not a secret to the companies who rejected your stuttering ass, and it’s not worth keeping secret anyway. Thanks for wasting 6 seconds of my life, asshole.

Then there’s this one: “Am I the only gay guy who isn’t a whore?”

1. A question is not a secret.

2. Are you keeping it a secret that you’re not a whore?

And finally: “Please don’t forget the day we picked blueberries.”

Lame, falsely poignant non-secrets FTW!

Of course, it wouldn’t be a Post Secret post without the requisite “I would have killed myself if blah blah blah” message. Currently there are three. Somehow, this website has become therapy for the depressed. And while I guess it’s nice that these people are finding some way to make themselves feel better…ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Choosing not to kill yourself because your postcard made it onto Post Secret is like choosing not to kill yourself because you have more MySpace friends than the girl who sits behind you in math class.

It’s all quite a shame, because the actual idea of Post Secret is pretty cool.  If all the leftover emo kids who still haven’t figured out it’s not 2002 anymore would stop sending in postcards about how they’re suddenly questioning God, it would still be an interesting blog.

Unfortunately, now the only postcards that make Post Secret worth anything are the ones like this: “I don’t care that he may have given me HPV, because he looked like Brad Pitt.” Holla!