Buy Or Don’t Buy

Hey losers, guess what?  It’s National Singles Week. That’s right, now you actually have an excuse for being a pathetic human being no one could possibly love. (Psha, like you needed one)

Just ask me. I’m totally, irrevocably single for life. There was a time when that bothered me, but I got over it. People who have bought into the ‘Marriage Myth’ have a hard time understanding that.  But, you know, single people like you and me just function on a totally different level, amirite? We don’t need any Disney fairy tale telling us how our lives should play out. Newsflash: There isn’t someone out there for everyone!

Don’t get me wrong. There are times when I think it would be fun (read: easy) to have a default someone to turn to when you’re bored, or want to share a good joke, or are just really fucking horny. It happens. But then you man the fuck up and get over it, and continue on with your fabulously single life, not having to worry about all the emotional baggage that comes along with “relationships” and, like “actually caring about another person.” Total blahhh zone.

Also, single people are cooler. They don’t have to worry about boring things like compromise, or babies, or which states you can legally get married in. Who has time for that? Not me. Cuz I’m single. See, it’s right here on my Facebook stats.  P.S. if you’re single, and want to talk about how cool single life is, drop me a line.  I’m available