Buy: Watching ‘Gossip Girl’ with the Sound Off
Before tonight, I didn’t know anything about ‘Gossip Girl’, except for the fact that it had something to do with a young woman who enjoys idle tattling. I had also heard that it is a mind-blowingly inappropriate and nasty piece of work that makes its viewers sit up and exclaim “OMFG“. As my intellectual curiosity knows no bounds, I set out to find out more about this popular culture phenomenon by watching the premiere with a bunch of people who were sitting around eating ice cream. Unfortunately, these people enjoyed their ice cream so much that they could not stop talking (very loudly) about it, drowning out all of the important expository dialogue. Consequently, I have had to change the title of my review from what I originally planned. It is now:
A Review of ‘Gossip Girl’ by Someone Who Watched It With No Sound
‘Gossip Girl’ is a show on the CW that is very popular. It stars many attractive people who sit and talk about things with each other. Occasionally these people also walk while talking about things with each other.
This man is the star of ‘Gossip Girl’. His main purpose is to wear ridiculous clothes. When he wears these clothes he looks very anguished, because everyone knows there is no point to wearing fancy clothes if you’re going to ruin the whole effect by smiling. (As well as being good at not-smiling, this actor is actually British. I know this because he was in Son of Rambow. Unfortunately I could not find out if he had a good American accent.)
In fact, the more fanciful the outfit the more you need to pout. It also helps if you have someone to stare longingly at.
![](http://buyordontbuy.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/best-pals-again.jpg "Ed Westwick and Chace Crawford on location for \")
The fancy-man has a best friend, who looks like if Zac Efron had an older brother who was also an elf. The best friend apparently has an active love life, which brought me to my first point of confusion.
Many of the attractive people on ‘Gossip Girl’ are blondes. This is because blondes are the most attractive type of person. However, as I was unable to make out any dialogue that would help me discern the various characters’ nuanced personality traits, I had a hard time keeping track of the numerous blonde women Zac Elfron was involved with. At one point mid-hookup, one of blondes mentioned ‘husband’ (I lip-read) and he had to escape out the window in his underwear before his cougar’s mate arrived home. This struck me as exceedingly timely and realistic. Then, still in his underwear, he was almost struck by a car being driven by another one of the blondes. I was not sure which one girl it was. It may have been the one he later kissed in front of the married one, or it could have been the random one that the director kept cutting to during the party scene.
However, the fancy-man was not interested in any of the blondes. He was more interested in staring longingly at this girl on the left. You can tell she’s special because she has brown hair. The brunette didn’t seem very interested in the fancy-man. She spent all her time talking about things with the man on the right. At first I thought he was supposed to be her father, but at the end of the episode she kissed him in a way that made me think he wasn’t her father.
There was also a party that looked like everyone was supposed to wear white, although many of the characters were actually wearing cream, or eggshell.
These two people were also at the party, although they didn’t seem to have anything to do with any of the other characters. The interesting thing about them is that that the man is short.
Also, there was this man. He is a sensitive character because he has a notebook and writes in it in front of a fire. At one point in the party two girls came up to him, said something, and then dumped wine on his (tan) suit jacket. I couldn’t figure out the reason, but I’m sure if I had, I would have exclaimed “OMFG”.
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49 Comments, Comment or Ping
Ha! As someone who had people in the room for the sole purpose of watching the show and not talking, your descriptions were a little off, but still enjoyable.
These nicknames I will use to describe the characters to you from this point on, if Gossip GIrl ever comes up in conversation again.
As someone who once watched an episode of Gossip Girl about a year ago with the sound ON, I can say you probably hit the nail on the head. I can’t remember much, though.
If you’d been able to hear anything, you would have noted that FancyMan (aka Chuck Bass aka Awesomeness Personified) does indeed have a good American accent despite the fact that he’s British, and that the Old Dude (Marcus) making out with Brunette (Blair) is supposed to be a “British Lord” but has a HORRIBLE fake British accent.
Also, the blonde that the director kept randomly showing was Tinsley Mortimer, some NYC socialite, so that was supposed to be an in-joke, but it was really really painful when it required her to read a few lines.
I fuckin’ love this show.
where are they?? nantucket?? the hamptons?! i missed it!
The Hamptons! And, it’s worth finding it online and watching it for all those OMFG moments.
Nate, the introvert, writing in a notebook guy, is also from Brooklyn, so yes, dead on with him being artsy and different.
for the love of all that is good and sacred in this world, BUY! WITH SOUND! EVERY WEEK!
Sara, the artsy guys name is DAN!!!! Not Nate!!!
And it is worth it to watch the show
WITH SOUND!!!
You weren’t bad on guessing what happened, a few things were wrong, but…. watch the show with sound
Even people who watch the show don’t know what the characters are named
I think that when she said “Nate” she was directing it to Nate, not saying that the character was named Nate. Because if there’s one thing I know about Sara it’s that she DEFINITELY knows her GG character names.
The fact that there are two Nates is very confusing. Also, fun fact: I took a “What Gossip Girl character are you?” quiz and it said I was Nate without even knowing my real name. Is this accurate?
Lol, GG is like, my fav show but reading this aticle really says “look y’all, this is totally pretentious, deal with it” and I have decided that this article is the reason the internet was invented. AWESOME!!!!!
(phew, glad I got that off my chest)
Are you dull, rich, essentially parentless, and dull? Congratulations, you’re Nate Archibald!!!!
Hey I saw someting about dis @ Maximmumride.com
I’m sooooo sorry you had to sit threw that…I cant stand shows like Gossip Girl -.-
I have never watched Gossip Girl before, but from what all of you are saying I would absolutely hate it. So, yeah.
(Check out my site, it’s below my name… xD)
Fly High!
-Mudd
http://flockfliers.blogspot.com/
sadly, that really is the entire show’s plot. I’ve seen maybe half an episode (not this one, and with sound on, and I was as clueless as this)
but from what I saw, yeah.
Congrats on getting this on Fang’s Blog (on maximumride.com)
even if it’s basically an article about watching a show about nothing. It’s still funny!
xD aww man, loved how you described this!
I’m not a big fan of Gossip Girl, I actually hate it (but that’s just me)
I never saw the point in this show, just a bunch of rich teens with love problems. And I can’t help but agree with your opinions. Congrats on getting this on Fang’s Blog (maximumride.blogspot.com)
Anyways, loved it!
the two people who you didnt know how they fit. The guy is the blonde’s (Serena) who kissed zac efron (Nate) at the party in front of the married lady) brother. The girl is the sensitive guy with the notebook (Dan) sister. fancy-man (Chuck) loves Blair (brunette) but he messed up big time
Okay. They’re in the Hamptons, the short man is Eric, he’s the main character Serena’s brother, the short girl is his best friend and the moody guy with the notebook Dan’s little sister Jenny. Dan likes Serena, the main character and the prettiest blonde, also the one in the middle. Serena likes Dan, and Nate, the guy in his underwear with the ‘husband’ lip reading. She’s the star. The socialite woman with the ‘husband’ lip reading is Nate’s (Zac Efron’s elf brother’s) love interest. The guy with the fancy clothes is Chuck. He’s rich, and a playboy. He and Blair (that’s the brunette with the father-guy) used to date. They broke up, and she hung out with lots of other guys, and vice-versa. Anything missed?
Oh, yeah. You should have sound. It’s way more shocking. Yay!
I love this show…. so… yeah. Watch it with sound.
I have never actually watched the show, but my friends were talking about it and it sounded kinda stupid.
The only reason I read this was cuz FANG TOLD ME TO!!!!
I LOVE MAXIMUM RIDE!!!!!!
(as you can see I got this from http://www.maximumride.blogspot.com)
i only read this because fang told me to, too!
yeah gossip girl is more of my mom and sister’s thing, im not into it, i also read this becuase fang had it on his blog
I have never seen this show, nor felt any desire to, but I now feel very compelled to watch it with the sound off. I think it’s the dripping sarcasm that has pulled me in…
Sarcasm is the lowest form of humor, but I’m glad that mine drips. Also: I have no idea who Fang is.
Nate(by the way you have an awesome name), Fang is just the freakin sweet, mysterious and cool bird kid in the series maximum ride. he is totally like SEXI!!!!! but sadly, he is just a story character. anyway, he has a blog, and this link was in it.
Wow. Interesting descriptions for someone who didn’t listen to the sounds. Awesome! XD.
this is sooo freaking hilarious!!!! that show gets on my nerves.
i also read it cuz fang had it on his blog…..
I read this entry not becuase some dude told me to. I read it because I have a general interest in this stuff.
Did anyone else check out the other entries on this site? This blog is actually pretty hilarious!
Wow, that was weird… Thanks Fang!
Fang told me to read this too–and if he hadn’t Nudge would have. Nate if you’re still wondering who fang is, check out http://www.maximumride.blogspot.com/ or just read the Maximum Ride series. Anyway though, i like GG okay. Not the best show, but it’s decent. Oh, and i feel compelled to add that Blair is also in love with Chuck (no one else has mentioned that) but has trust issues with him (for good reason) and so won’t be with him until he can prove to her that he’s resolved those issues to her satisfaction. She was really only using the british lord/ father-guy to make Chuck jealous–something Chuck’s definately not used to. His typical line is simply, “I’m Chuck Bass.”
This is pretty much THE best review in the world
OMFG fang is sooo awsome. to those who havent read the maximum ride series, read it. serious. havent seen GG but evryone is talkin about it. maybe i should..
I’ve never seen the show and that review gave me more reason not to.
A small amount of Maximum Ride in your every day life can let you live up to 70 years longer without growing old.
lmao. thats so funny!
it sounds like something i would write!
btw, i came bacause of the Maximumride Blog!!! GO FANG, MAX AND THE REST OF THE FLOCK!!! WOH HOO!!!
Omagosh, i just cracked up while reading this. Its really well done and I agree with Ginny, the internet is made for things like this!
I have never watched GG aaand I never plan to! It just looks like a load of crap that I will HATE but still somehow manage to get hooked into.
But, dispite everything, I think (using my awesome knowlage of soapies like this crap) that you are probably pretty much on the right track! Because shows like this tend to have the same kind of shit ass predictable story line.
But anyway, I clap for thee! lmao
~Flying On~
I found this through Fang as well, and I’m glad I did! You had them pretty much pegged. Though to add even more OMFG to the mix, Nate’s love interest is actually the step-mother of Blair’s new beau. Chuck and Nate are very close friends, in case this wasn’t mentioned, and although to other people Chuck can seem like an arrogant bastard, he would do anything for his best bud Nate. They were also all wearing white to that party because they happened to be attending the infamous “White Party”. Oh yeah, Zac Elfron was also in the movie “The Covenant”, playing another upper crust type who had powers that let him do virtually anything, but would kill him if he used them too often. He didn’t talk much in that one, was probbably in it as eye candy. Anyways, you should definitely watch this, because it’s definitely a good show…
Lol, yeah, I would’ve never watched Gossip Girl too, but just to say OMFG I will! And yeah, I’m another one of ‘em people who only read this cuz Fang told ‘em too. I would do anything for him! Like, if he told me to jump of a cliff…
Anyway! Lol! I totally agree to the whole ‘Zac Efron’ look a-like part cuz they do look alike… hmm…. Haha! Someone spelled Efrom wrong!
Oh wait… I did too.
Yeah, lol.
yeah i know i’m a little late for this one but…wow…that was…interesting. One more reason NOT to watch the dang show and yet i’m still feeling the need to… thank you fang…thank you so much!
OMG! saw a link 2 this on maximumride.com & I’m like “Yess! Nudge needs a MUTE BUTTON!!1!
Dude, this totally makes me want to watch Gossip Girl. First with the sound off, then on, to see if I got the plot.
And congrats on making it onto Fang’s blog!
Haha I love how many teenage girl idiots are here correcting you. This is SUPPOSED to be funny as hell and sarcastic. And I couldn’t stop laughin.
Nice shit man, nice shit.
wow, i mean like WOW, that was simply amazing, I feel the need to watch this show now, this review is like coolio, & very intellegent.(BTW, what type of ice cream were you eating? it must have been good, LOL…) I also fond this on fangs blog, but to all you fang lovers, he’s like emo, Iggy is my one true love, and Nudge does not need an OFF BUTTON!!!!!
Maximum Ride fans have taken over this comment section. rofl.
Bestshowever.
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