Buy Or Don’t Buy

Mr. Breakfast defines a continental breakfast as

A light breakfast that may include a selection of coffees, teas, juices, fruits, toast, breakfast cereals and assorted pastries. The presence of meat is a primary distinguishing factor between a “regular” breakfast and a continental one. A continental breakfast will never includes meat. [ed's note: :(, both to mrb's grammar and the absence of meat in continental breakfasts]

The main man of the morning adds that the definition includes “any breakfast relating to characteristics of a continent.”

Beyond longing to leave a comment on Mr. B’s nonexistent comment wall (”so it offers movable plate tectonics, but only before 10:30am?”), I found this worth exploring (do you?). This leads me to my main point: the continental breakfast should never be bought by any self-respecting warm blooded person or hotel.

England’s main crop is eggs and sausage and beans, whereas the Continent, or the French and Swedish, munch on croissants and granola (respectively) in the AM. How do they stay awake on bread all morning? Pussies! I could be using this post to vent all my frustrations with modern French culture, but I won’t do that today. No, no, the axe I grind battles the sticky sugars of blackberry jam and Frosted Mini Wheats, but it will prevail, I tell you! Because while those pastries and cereal might taste good on the way down, you won’t get far past the concierge! Sure, have another donut. You’ll need it to wash down the bile of Continental regret.

So to the Milford Plaza Hotel on 44^th and 8^th Avenue: why follow the path of the starving hippie communists? Wake up and smell your Graffeo dark roast coffee. And pick your breakfast choices as carefully as you picked that delicious San Francisco brew.

So in conclusion a hot breakfast, not just any breakfast, is important and, if I be so bold as to conclude any further, the most important meal of the day.