Buy Or Don’t Buy

Why do you say “God Bless You” after someone sneezes? Or some other iteration of the phrase, possibly in another language? Do you even? Can you recall ever hoping that (whichever) God really does bless the person?

This is something that has bugged me (and others I’ve asked about) for a long time. It is my belief that responding to sneezes - whether it’s “God Bless You” or any other language that says “To Your Health” (see Wikipedia for a list) - is one of the most rudimentary problems with society today.

In my office when someone sneezes, everybody says God Bless You. It’s a whole thing. And if one person doesn’t, everybody judges them. Why didn’t that person say it? Does he not like him/her? Did he not hear it? Are they busy? I have even seen the occasional glare over to their cubicle to see if they were too busy to say it. In my family when my dad sneezes, he will literally wait for a God Bless You. And if you don’t saying anything, he will ask “God Bless You?” like it’s a game and he’s frozen until I say that. And these are just two examples from my world, but I have seen it in others. I have been over friends’ houses where the same rhetoric happens. Or walking on the street and one person sneezes and 2/3rds of the people around them say Gesundheit or something. And this isn’t only here in America…look at the Wiki article and it has the response to sneezes in almost every language!

And it’s not just with other people. When I sneeze, the very first thing I do is listen. I guess my body and hand and brain are busy with what just happened…with snot everywhere and wiping off my face, etc…so maybe my ears are the only free things working? But no. It’s because responses to sneezes are so built into our infrastructure as a species that its a necessity. I am writing this Don’t Buy post on it, but even when I sneeze and someone doesn’t say anything, I at first get a little annoyed. I am guilty. But almost immediately I tell myself ‘wait no, I dont want them to say anything.’ But just the fact that I get slightly annoyed in the first place for a split-second is what worries me.

So why do we say it? It isn’t entirely clear when it started, but it was a long time ago, so that’s good enough. What we do know is a few possible reasons why it started.

• Preventing the soul from departing one’s body
• An effort to prevent possible death due to a lethal disease such as the plague pandemics of the fourteenth century
• A method of protection against evil spirits entering the body through the open mouth of a sneezing individual (this is the one I learned when I was growing up)

Ok, so it only exists out of 14th or 15th century beliefs that either demons or death are associated with sneezing. Fine, whatever, people were uneducated and stupid back then. But come on…people sneeze all day every day, and the percent of people that die from it has to be .0001%. And can we admit (in this day-and-age) that demons don’t exist and souls won’t depart from the body? But, regardless of how it started, can we agree that is has no basis today? And don’t even get me started on some of the ridiculous superstitions tacked onto sneezing.

Currently, it exists because it always existed. It is supposed to happen. It is familiar. Your parents did it when you were growing up, so you do it. I’m sure there’s a percentage of people out there who don’t, but lets be honest, you feel like an asshole when you don’t. Or you know that the other person thinks you’re an asshole. And, it’s hard to resist but I have to make the connection: this is pretty much another real-life example of the christianity/religion debate, and why it exists. But moving on…

Ladies and Gentlemen, its time for Change. We need to grow up, evolve, move into modern times. We have two choices: Have a response for every open mouth action (just for fun), including coughing and yawning, or realize that the phrase means nothing and get over it. It won’t be easy. It is built into our soceity as a means of being polite and respectful, and most people want to come across as thus. So they have to say it, understandably. But we will need a large following. I’m not sure what the solution is…maybe saying “uhh please dont say that to me, or anybody else after a sneeze, again. thank you” might work? …you will be cast as the biggest asshole ever.

What do you think about this issue? Buy or Don’t Buy? What can we do to stop it?