Buy Or Don’t Buy

Generally speaking, HBO deserves the praise it gets for quality programming.  Of course, there are both hits and misses.  (Remember John from Cincinnati?  No?  Keep it that way.)  But even when your favorite show has an off episode every now and then, there is one thing you know will be awesome every single week: the opening credits.

In the past few years it’s been a big trend to do away with opening credits altogether.  In some cases that’s a good thing, because they can be tedious at times.  But HBO has credits down to an art - they’re all over a minute long, and yet I still want to watch them every time I watch one of these shows.

First, there’s The Sopranos.  I’ll be honest.  I’ve never even seen a full episode of this show.  But I have seen the opening credits, and I think they’re great, though that’s mainly because I love the song.  Other than that, they’re kind of boring.  If anyone with greater insight into the mind of Tony Soprano can explain to me the significance of the Jersey turnpike other than that’s where he would be driving every day, please do.

Another show that works mostly by virtue of its song is Big Love, which I actually do watch. Although this one has the bonus of pretty people ice skating together. And I do love when the ice splits and they all fly away from one another. So symbolic!

My absolute favorite HBO show EV-AR is Six Feet Under. You will not convince me that The Sopranos or The Wire is better, so don’t bother trying. SFU has a sparse, lovely opening sequence that perfectly sets the tone for the show’s balance of darkness and whimsy.

SFU creator Alan Ball’s newest creation is True Blood, which just finished up its first season. Its credits are more brutal and sexy - fitting, since the show is too. (Although most of the fucking on True Blood is actually pretty unsexy. For example, doggy-style next the dumpster behind the local bar.)

And for the finale, I present the awesomest opening credits of all time. Carnivale was a show that certainly had its problems - although it was wonderfully creepy and atmospheric, as well as beautifully shot and well-acted, the first season plodded, the second season sped by, and then it got cancelled after leaving us with the BIGGEST CLIFFHANGER EVER. But the credits are a thing of beauty, mixing tarot card imagery with scenes from the Great Depression. It’s incredibly evocative of the show, which was a ridiculously complicated tale of good versus evil involving a traveling circus and a California preacher who is probably the devil, all against the backdrop of the Dust Bowl. There’s a midget, a bearded lady, burlesque dancers, a really hot cripple, Russian bears, evangelicals, and incest. Seriously, this show was AWESOME. I would recommend it, only there’s that whole cliffhanger thing so maybe not.