Buy Or Don’t Buy

Rather than holding the pickles, Burger King finds itself being asked to hold “the world’s purest taste test” as criticism mounts for its most recent advertising campaign, in which the burger maker is conducting an epic search for the Whopper ® Virgins of the world in hopes of finding an unbiased answer to that age old question: Whopper or Big Mac?

Using 13 planes, 2 dog sleds, 1 helicopter and a team of independent third party researchers, America’s two greatest burgers are traveling to benighted areas such as Thailand, Romania, and a tundra in Greenland, where there are “no clowns or kings.” Therein lies their quest, to find virginal taste buds–taste buds of those whose innocence enables them to live without any preconceived notions concerning the burger wars being waged in so many other corners of the civilized world.

To wage this Whopper ® Virgin campaign, Burger King has had to leave behind the onslaught of marketing schemes that it has mounted in the past that try to condition consumers into thinking that flame-broiled burgers are superior to fried ones. Have they finally stumbled upon the buds of people who, having not been told what to think, can provide the rest of the burger-eating world with a solution to this, one of the greatest concerns plaguing modernity? Or is Burger King simply reiterating one of its classic slogans, “We do it like you’d do it®,” offering us a mirror into the indecencies and insensitivities that are found the world over at the hands of a system that we all love to hate, and yet buy into day after day?

It’s your way right away ®, but there’s a new Romanian-backlands judge in town.

Photos courtesy of our friends at whoppervirgins.com