Buy Or Don’t Buy

So it’s been predicted that Gen Y will name thier kids either really old names, like Gertrude,  or really “unique” names, like Rocket. Fine, I feel that is inevitable.  I was going to name my kid (if I have one) after my grandparents. For a girl, Mollie; for a boy, Malcolm. But now, I have to rethink Malcolm because I’m not trying to be zany by naming this probably white baby after Malcolm X (or Malcolm in the Middle).

No matter what I name my kid, or how zany anyone tries to be, they will never come close to the Campbells. The Campbells are geniuses. (And in this case not meaning not genius at all!) They named their child, wait for it, Adolf Hitler.

What?

The Campbells, Health(35) and Deborah (25), are from America. And they named their son Adolph Hitler. And this is news because Shoprite refused to put “Happy Birthday, Adolph Hitler” on a cake for these sweet and sensible people.

Why?

Not why wouldn’t Shoprite put that on a cake. Not why won’t you cut his hair? But WHY, Campbells? Why would you name your son that? You just ruined his 3rd birthday because a cake issue, and that’s just a little thing compared to ruining his whole life with a name like that! Well, the Campbells had a perfectly good reason.

Campbell said he named his son after Adolf Hitler because “no one else in the world would have that name. They need to accept a name. A name’s a name. The kid isn’t going to grow up and do what [Hitler] did,” he said.

So what? Being original is more important than a future? Or are they trying to be Shakespearian? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet? For some reason, I don’t think the Campbells are focusing on their personal brand or on literature. Because (after making a trip to “a Walmart in Pennsylvania” for a birthday cake) they had more than 1 offspring, in fact they have 3, each with names that are absurd.

Their younger children are JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell, who is nearly two, and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, named after the SS head Heinrich Himmler. Honszlynn turns one in April.

Really? Really? Really. Really? Really?!!?! And I have to say it… This absurd name really takes the cake!

p.s. please caption that photo!

source: Guardian