Buy Or Don’t Buy

The first question American Apparel invokes in most people is, ‘Who would buy something like this?’ For most of the items, the easy answer is ‘hipsters.’ However, there are a few that are pitched at a completely different niche market.

This gold jacket, for instance, is for Israeli entertainment moguls.

And this faux-leather jacket is aimed at villains in ’80s sports movies.

But recently the company has taken a baffling turn. Instead of the spandex/neon/hoodie products that used to be their bread and butter, many new American Apparel products are staid, traditional - appropriate, even.

It started with the Oxford shirts. “What’s this?” many wondered, “A product that one could wear at work? Don’t they know that the ideal American Apparel customer doesn’t have a job - except maybe at American Apparel?”

Then came the peacoat. Even worse! Suddenly, the only controversy on the AA website’s message boards was that peacoats are supposed to be double-breasted.

Luckily, along with pride at being able to sell $54 button-ups and $180 coats came the sin of hubris. Like Icarus, American Apparel clothengineers began to aim higher. They wanted their clothes to escape the hipster ghetto and enter the realm of haute-couture.  They introduced drop-shoulder sweaters. They introduced double-breasted cardigans. And they unveiled the high-water mark of their flights of fancy: The Bat Wing Hoodie.

Available in normal, and in shiny.

Obviously, for people such as myself who enjoy ridiculous things, this is a figurative Buy. But lest I be misinterpreted, I should make clear: For consumers this is a literal Don’t Buy. Do not buy these products. Do not buy these products. Do not buy these products.