Buy Or Don’t Buy

Movies can become games. But games can not become movies.

What am I on about now? Candy Land. The Movie. Huh?

Universal Pictures is sweet on “Candy Land.”

Ughh! That’s awful!

First Hasbro ruined my childhood memories of this game by changing the look and design of it. And now, this! A undeniable horrible family-friendly film. Now, I’m not just sour on childhood-memory media adaptations, but this one in particular makes me rather be stuck in the Molasses Swamp then to participate in any Candy Land fun.

Here, besides the principle of the who thing, are a few details I don’t buy:

• Kevin Lima, the man who directed: 102 Dalamations, Enchanted, and Eloise at Christmas Time, is directing. That means no edginess or underlying humor, just straight up feel-goodnessness.
• It is live-action. LIVE ACTION CANDY LAND.
• It’s part of a packaged deal

Project is the first film to emerge from the deal U made last February with Hasbro, whose properties are the basis for the summer tentpole films “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra” and “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.”

• That means it was just in the deal. It was just a way to get the other summer blockbusters made. That means poor Candy Land will probably be underbudget and even more lame!
• It leads to other ill-fated board-game turned movies. Such as Monopoly… for real… seriously. Monoply.

Ridley Scott is officially on board to direct “Monopoly” for [Universal Studios]…. Crazily enough, “Monopoly” is one of several Hasbro games being adapted by Universal. They’re also developing “Quiji Board” and “Battleship.” The director is looking to give the movie a “futuristic sheen” along the lines of his iconic “Blade Runner.” (source)

Monopoly as Blade Runner? Quiji as a potential horror film? Wow. What else can I say? What else can I do? Groan.

(Source)