Buy Or Don’t Buy

Mr. Pibb is a soft drink. I happen to love Mr. Pibb. It’s probably my favorite soda ever.

However, Mr. Pibb is now know as Pibb Xtra as demonstrated here:

So what ever happened to Mr. Pibb?

I have some soda fan fiction to answer this question…

In a small town in Texas, known to the locals as Waco a couple has a child. They named their child Pepperoncini.

He would be known to his friends as “Pepper.”

Pepper had your normal childhood and was content just being around. This was until his parents had another child. Pibbo.

He would be known to his friends as “Pibb”

Pibbo wasn’t the brightest child but was well liked. This bothered Pepper who became more driven to show that he was the best.

Pepper decided to go to Soft Drink Medical School and became Dr. Pepper. He was later sued for malpractice and became Dr Pepper but landed his own daytime talk show and is now doing better then ever.

Pibb not to be outdone decided to also go to Soft Drink Medical School but after the first year decided it was too tough and dropped out. He is however a licensed chiropractor cause thats all bullshit anyway.

Pibb knew he was destined for something more and moved to the big city. There he met the one and only Miss Coca Cola who was impressed by the young Pibb and decided to take him under her wing.

Coca signed Pibb to a big contract and in 1978 Pibb had was shown to the world.

However, after lackluster sales and interest and the rise of his brother Dr Pepper. Pibb was cast into the shadow.

Coca released him in the winter of 2001. Later that year Pibb got some plastic surgery and renamed himself Pibb Xtra. Coca took him back there after and now Pibb Xtra can be seen doing his lounge act.

And can be found in Americanized Mexican fast food chains (Chipotle, Moe’s, Baja Fresh) and other sporadic drink fountains across the country.

It could be worse… They could be like their cousin Baja Blast Mountain Dew… Which is in an unhealthy relationship with Taco Bell. One day she’ll understand she’s better then that.

The End…

(I thought of this whole retarded ass post over a burrito at Baja Fresh.)

non-sequitur