Buy Or Don’t Buy

I looked up “reaction video” on UrbanDictionary:

A video, typically posted on YouTube, that depicts someone’s reaction to seeing or being shown a disturbing or frightening image or video. This is usually a shock site, a screamer or something similar.

This is a really lame concept. It’s the cheap-ass version of Sci Fi’s Scare Tactics: give the audience the mildly-amusing freak-out that comes at the end, but none of the ridiculous set-up that actually makes the reaction worth seeing.

The result is stupid crap like this:

The Fangirl Phenomenon, however, has taken this practice to a new low. (I know, I know: Who ever thought our culture could get lower than 3,000,000+ views for a video entitled “2 Girls 1 Cup Grandma Reaction”?) While the previous video does, I’m sure, have some comedic value for a certain subset of frat boy types, fangirl reaction videos offer no such benefits.

Yes, you see correctly: this is a NINE-MINUTE reaction video to a NINETY-SECOND movie trailer. I think we’ve got Britain’s hottest new acting talent here, because she goes from delight to devastation to total fear to silent shock in the span of a minute, and having seen the New Moon trailer myself, I can assure you that the trailer itself is not capable of provoking that much emotion.

This type of “reaction video” is even worse than the first example because it is 100% self-indulgent and 100% fake. Although 2G1C Grandma was probably in on the joke, I could at least sort of believe that was unplanned. But there is no way someone who already read the damn book would be brought to tears by RPattz’s insistance that he leave his lady-love to save her. And what about her horrified squeal when she sees a shirtless guy morph into a wolf? Has she never seen CGI before? Thank you so much, nuttymadam3575, for giving me the opportunity to watch you intentionally flail and moan and gasp as you watch a video for which you’ve already practiced your cues.

The entire concept of making videos of YOURSELF while you watch something is completely inane. It is attention-whoring to a whole new degree. The people who make these somehow assume that their own scripted shit-flipping is of interest to the world. Well, um, it’s not. Especially when it’s about a fucking Twilight movie.