Buy Or Don’t Buy

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Don’t Buy: Friskies’ “Kitty Wonderland” Commercial

Going off Nate’s previous post, what is going on with this commercial?

Is the cat food laced with LSD? Cat ladies, why do you want your cat to go on a magical adventure without you? Are cats more pure than humans, being that this cat has an opportunity to go on a murderous buffet and doesn’t?
Basically, [...]

Buy or Don’t Buy: Kayak ‘Nuns’ Commercial

Sara and I are very confused about this commercial:

What is going on with these two? Are they lesbians — or, being the only two young nuns, are they just very good friends? Also, are nuns even allowed to wear bikinis, or is that a hint that they are leaving the church altogether? How will we [...]

Don’t Buy: These Characters

The most offensive part of my day is undoubtedly the 30 seconds I spend walking through the parade of advertising that is the 47-50th Street subway station. For the past few months the ads in this station have been exclusively for the little-seen and little-loved Spike-TV comedy “Blue Mountain State.” Most of them are offensive [...]

Don’t Buy: Cartoon Characters With Attitude

Readers, there are many times in life where you will find yourself presented with a total information overload. The next one minute and 49 seconds will be like that for you:

Where can we even begin to reckon with this? It’s best to start by eliminating the obvious. I’m not going to tread the well-worn path [...]

Don’t Buy: Dudes in Jewelry Commercials

I get it. You’re a sweet and caring dude who loves giving presents to his girlfriend. Nothing wrong with that. But do you have to be so weird about it?

“I’m right here….and I always will be.” Good effort, I guess. Shows that you’re loyal and that you can come up with some quick quips. But [...]

Pre-Order: New Moon

Why:

it’s complicated
it’s stepped up another notch
more action
heartbroken-ness
exciting
pushing to next level
fucking werewolves

AND 30lbs more!

At this point, instead of tranforming into a werewolf on command, I’m sure I just transformed into a tween. Expect my reaction video coming soon*.
*never

Buy: Snuggie Designer Series

If it already hasn’t, the blogosphere is going to go nuts over this. But you saw it here first!

In other posts I’ve written, the ‘Buy’ has been purely figurative. Not here. I know my roommate is firmly on the side of the Slanket*, but this one can be a throw blanket and comes in leopard, [...]

Buy: Mr. Bucket

I’m Mr. Bucket. Put your balls in my top. I’m Mr. Bucket. The balls fly outta my mouth. I’m Mr. Bucket.

Still waiting for Mrs. Bucket to come out, am I right?

Buy: iPhone Ads

Imagine walking down the street with your cool iPhone because you are already cool for having one, and bam! right there you realize that ad by the bus stop wants to play with you? What do you do? Do you coyly start pinching and swiping your fingers to manipulate/tickle it? Or shyly wait and watch [...]

Buy: Fake Trailers

Sundays are usually spent looping old movie trailers (from 2001’s Sweet November ["Redemption's not for sale today."] to 1992’s Home Alone 2 [Chris Columbus' best?]).
But what better way to spend 4:21 than watching RomCom movie stills set to wordless Evanescence-inspired tunes? I tried searching for the promotional preview of Alicia Silverstone’s swansong, Excess Baggage, and [...]