Buy Or Don’t Buy

Or, “How A Cliché Changes Its Usage, In Five Easy Steps”
I: Status Quo
November 4, 2005:
What’s more important: talent, coaching, or swagger? These quotes may help you decide. Each tells us something important about that magical gait.
[...] FOX’s Adam Schein, on the Cowboys’ rout of the Eagles a month ago: “Finally, swagger and aggressiveness from the [...]

We get it. Kurt Cobain was an icon. He was a major player in the grunge movement and proponent of teenage angst back in the 1990s. But he’s dead. He died back ‘94. But for some reason, people keep doing things to his memory that just… miss the point of “who he was.”
The latest: Kurt [...]

I don’t like children. I like them even less when they do things for attention and admiration. And when they perform in costumes to adult-themed songs, just forget about it.
Enjoy. Or not.
Portuguese Lady Gaga:

6 year-old Ke$ha

Parents? Where are you?

I owe Jay Leno an apology. For much of my life I’ve thought of him as a complacent old hack on the wrong side of history, with nothing better to do than spent his time telling humorless and mean-spirited jokes to an audience that thinks predictability breeds hilarity. I was making the cardinal sin of [...]

Last April in Comedy class I was given the task of performing a five-minute stand-up comedy routine. Being the groundbreaking envelope-pusher that I am, i was determined to fill my five minutes with what i deemed ‘anti-comedy’: jokes that were so purposefully unfunny that they circled back around to become funny again.
But as I performed [...]

(I’m probably going to sound like one of those lame men’s rights groups in this post, but try to imagine me looking more like (:-/ and less like >:-o when you picture me reading it aloud.)
I’m going to assume that everyone knows the Tiger Woods story right now. If you don’t, read this right here. [...]

It’s time to call attention to celebrities’ hard work. They write poetry, tweet their every thought and sing about stuff just for us! It just isn’t right to ignore them.  Tributes, roasts and impersonations seem so passe and impersonal. The newest and best way to recognize their creative work is by having other celebrities present [...]

I’ve been very busy lately, so I’ve had no choice but to have today’s post ghostwritten by a Foppish Victorian Dandy with a prejudice against gypsies. My apologies for the oversight.
Heavens! The events of recent days have proven to me most distressful! Lest you be IGNORANT, I shall tell the tale:
A young Gibson girl of [...]

These town hall “meetings” are getting out of hand. No one is offering real criticism. I even heard someone call Obama’s policies “Nazi Socialist.” Are you fucking kidding me? You morons don’t know the difference between Socialism and Fascism? These meetings are so frustrating to watch or even hear about.

Then there’s this picture that I [...]

For some reason, I can never get enough of crappy celebrity gossip. My favorite piece of gossip: Kathy Griffin and Levi Johnston together.
Chances are that Kathy Griffin is doing it for a publicity stunt, that’s cool, that’s what she does. And Levi, from Sarah Palin fame, needed a summer vacation. And for me, it’s just [...]