Buy Or Don’t Buy

Your ultimate shopping guide for a reputation economy.
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Television

Don’t Buy: Friskies’ “Kitty Wonderland” Commercial

Going off Nate’s previous post, what is going on with this commercial?

Is the cat food laced with LSD? Cat ladies, why do you want your cat to go on a magical adventure without you? Are cats more pure than humans, being that this cat has an opportunity to go on a murderous buffet and doesn’t?
Basically, [...]

Don’t Buy: These Characters

The most offensive part of my day is undoubtedly the 30 seconds I spend walking through the parade of advertising that is the 47-50th Street subway station. For the past few months the ads in this station have been exclusively for the little-seen and little-loved Spike-TV comedy “Blue Mountain State.” Most of them are offensive [...]

Buy: Sick Boy Syndrome

I owe Jay Leno an apology. For much of my life I’ve thought of him as a complacent old hack on the wrong side of history, with nothing better to do than spent his time telling humorless and mean-spirited jokes to an audience that thinks predictability breeds hilarity. I was making the cardinal sin of [...]

Buy: Anti-Comedy

Last April in Comedy class I was given the task of performing a five-minute stand-up comedy routine. Being the groundbreaking envelope-pusher that I am, i was determined to fill my five minutes with what i deemed ‘anti-comedy’: jokes that were so purposefully unfunny that they circled back around to become funny again.
But as I performed [...]

Don’t Buy: Sports in 3D

Hey, remember when “Avatar” made lots of money? Let’s use that as an opportunity to learn all the wrong lessons!
From USA Today:
This week, ESPN announced plans to launch an all-sports 3D [television] network on June 11, starting with World Cup soccer and eventually including the Summer X Games (extreme sports) and college basketball and college [...]

Don’t Buy: Dudes in Jewelry Commercials

I get it. You’re a sweet and caring dude who loves giving presents to his girlfriend. Nothing wrong with that. But do you have to be so weird about it?

“I’m right here….and I always will be.” Good effort, I guess. Shows that you’re loyal and that you can come up with some quick quips. But [...]

Don’t Buy: Kanye Memes

I’ve been very busy lately, so I’ve had no choice but to have today’s post ghostwritten by a Foppish Victorian Dandy with a prejudice against gypsies. My apologies for the oversight.
Heavens! The events of recent days have proven to me most distressful! Lest you be IGNORANT, I shall tell the tale:
A young Gibson girl of [...]

Buy: Snuggie Designer Series

If it already hasn’t, the blogosphere is going to go nuts over this. But you saw it here first!

In other posts I’ve written, the ‘Buy’ has been purely figurative. Not here. I know my roommate is firmly on the side of the Slanket*, but this one can be a throw blanket and comes in leopard, [...]

Buy: Point Break

Sorry, for the short posts. Really busy! Enjoy this!
This was made for mean magazine. Called cine-mashes features a bunch of different “mashes” with classics.
It might be the best parody of point break I’ve ever seen. Features some of Human Giant (Ansari and Huebel) and some of Reno 911 (Grant and Lennon). Gotta love Huebel’s Busey!
Only [...]

Don’t Buy: Pennsylvanians

It used to be that you could always count on Pennsylvanians to be pretty high-quality people. Benjamin Franklin, Betsy Ross, Winfield Scott Hancock, John Oates, Andrew Bryniarski, Liza Weil: credits to the Keystone State all. (Sadly, for some reason the only people the Pennsylvania magic has not extended to are US Presidents.)
But two popular stories [...]